I grew up in a fairly conservative family and even more conservative church environment. We were not allowed to chemically process our hair, add extensions or do anything unnatural to the hair.

At the time, a lot of people thought our church doctrine was too strict and excessively repressive. Some of my friends & acquaintances within the church environment, whilst grudgingly going along with the rules, secretly desired to have permed, relaxed or braided hair.

Little did we all know that this ‘repressive’ church doctrine was actually doing us a great service.

As we got older and drifted away from the church and its doctrine, our attitudes towards the treatment of our hair changed and a lot of us began to perm, straighten our hair or add extensions. We are free now! We look cute now! We are sexy now! How wrong we were!!  Many of us are now suffering from damaged hair, receding hair lines, bald spots and more.  Many cannot have their significant others (boyfriends, husbands) see them in their natural hair cos it’s a sad and pitiful mess!

My first dabble was in hair extensions – in the form of braids. It wasn’t so bad and it still looked natural, right? Actually the addition of extensions was adding tension to my hair and hairline, and it was slowly getting weaker. My hair started to fall off.

Next, I went for a weave. Ooooh, check me out……I can toss and swing my hair now……I Rock! How horrified was I when I took off the extensions along with huge clumps of my hair!! This can’t be right!

I then went down the path of heat – hot combs, flat irons and so on. But my hair became limp & lifeless as the heat damaged my hair shaft. Sigh! What’s a girl to do?

I cut off the damaged ends, grew the hair out and then relaxed/permed the hair. Nope…still didn’t look right. Took too much time, products and maintenance.

This is when I started toying with the idea of going natural, but had no idea on taking care of natural hair. I didn’t want to cut my hair and start all over again, and I had no knowlegde of transitioning – going natural without cutting the hair. I hid my hair under wigs and hair pieces waiting for it to grow into a huge afro, but it didn’t grow. I didn’t know that use of wigs and hair pieces actually suffocates the scalp, reducing circulation of air around the scalp, which is necessary to boost blood circulation, and thereby stunting growth.

I began to read, research and re-educate myself on natural hair care and, BOY, did I learn a lot! I learnt natural hair is beautiful; I learnt it is actually more versatile and has a lot more styling options than weaves, extensions, perms and relaxers; I learnt it is easy to maintain; I learnt it can easily fit into the corporate world as well as in casual settings.  Oh, yeah!

Even white celebrities started taking up natural hair extensions (eg Victoria Beckham, Tamsin Outhwaite, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears), flat ironing and perms. Just like us in the black community, they are also now suffering the effects of these unnatural treatment of their hair.
They should have taken a lesson from us (or at least from Naomi Campbell) on the damage that extensions, perms and weaves can do to your hair.

The sad thing is that even in Africa, natural hair, for the most part, is frowned upon. You would be called a bush-woman or village girl. The only ones that wear natural hair are kids or school kids whose school dictates that they have short natural hair cuts. Locs is especially frowned upon and seen as dirty.  Sorry, but I’d rather have healthy, natural, thick hair than fake hair hiding away a limp, lifeless, dull, damaged scrap of hair.

Here are a few WRONG assumption made since going natural…..most of them came from other members of the black community:
*Some fellow africans assume I’m going natural so I can grow dread locs – nope!
*I am going natural so I can relax/perm it again – nope!
*I must be some black power man-hater – ignorant assumpton – but no!
*I hate white people – er….have you seen my husband?
*I am a lesbian – again…have you seen my husband??
*I must be mixed or from the Caribbean and that’s why I have good hair – wrong.. I am pure African and I have good hair cos I take care of it.
*I smoke weed – I don’t even smoke…ever!!
*I love cowrie shells, beads and natural things – I do, but that’s not the point
* It’s a trend and I will relax/perm eventually – really? not if I can help it!
*I am into herbal therapies & organic living – I am, but they don’t know that. lol!
* I am vegan or vegetarian – nope, sorry love meat.
* I hate people with relaxed hair – nope, sorry, I don’t; your hair, your choice!
* My white husband doesn’t like my hair – He Loves It! He is always touching it and staring at it
* I love African Drumming and Dance – I do!! As well as Jazz, classical music, ballet, salsa, hip hop….etc
* I play the guitar – nope, I actually play the piano, cello and violin, but now that you mention it, I’d love to learn to play the guitar : D
* I am an air-head and not business minded or corporate – I run mine and my hubby’s business
* Black guys find me unattractive and/or unapproachable – well, I am taken, so no offers; however, I notice a different calibre of black guys approach me now
* I am political – very.little.interest.in.politics.generally
* I am making a statement – er…no…it’s just my hair
* I don’t believe in God – LOL!! nope sorry, I do!
* I want to give the world the middle finger – well, come to think of it…there are a few people…
* I must be single – again, have you seen my husband??!
* My natural hair is some kind of texturiser or perm – nope, no chemicals in ma hair
* My type of guy is dark-skinned artistic poet/musician with locs – I don’t have a type, but, again, seen.my.husband??!!
* I want to lead all my people back to Africa – LMAO!!!!
* I only eat and/or cook African foods – nope, I cook and eat african, chinese, indian, italian mexican, french cuisin…..you name it, I’ll cook it and eat it! I love food and happen to be a very good cook.
* I only eat natural – I should but, now and again, I have a weakness for McDonald, KFC, Pizza Hut, Burger King and other processed food.
* I LOVE the environment – I try to recycle, but am not obsessed.

However there have MANY GREAT points since going natural, including increased compliments, attention, and positive comments, from blacks, whites, young, or old.
* Black guys treat me with even more respect
* People think I look younger than I am;
* The Princess or African Queen comments (i actually don’t mind that);
* I look cute/sexy/beautiful/gorgeous/glamorous/goddess-like, depending on the style am rockin (i don’t mind this either);
* I must be some singer/musician/movie star/model;
* I SHOULD be a model/movie star etc;
* People wanting to touch my hair – very flattering
* Black folks wanting to check my hair for a weave – I actually take that as a compliment
* Other black women deciding to go natural when they see my hair and ask how I do it

I am not looking to convert people to go natural, but I feel saddened at so many beautiful people out there who do not know the beautiful hair they have and they are either covering it up with wigs, weaves and extensions, or damaging it with chemical processing.

Why can’t we all just be natural and enjoy the differences in our hair and skin textures, instead of trying to be someone or something else?

Work with what you have….be your own sexy, cool, natural self.

As I have been inspired and educated by others, I hope this message & my natural hair journey educates, inspires and motivates those considering going natural on how beautiful, versatile, low maintenance, fabulous, glamorous and sexy our natural hair texture is.

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